Chances
by l03l
Summary: In which Mark does not get Callie pregnant, rather, Lexie finds out she is pregnant, days before Mark kisses her at Joe's in 7x10.
1. Prologue

**A/N:**

AU from the end of 7x10, which is where this starts. It will mess with some events prior to 7x10 – namely, Callie **doesn't** get pregnant – however they should be fairly easy to determine from the story line (and the summary).

* * *

PROLOGUE

..

She turns to absolute putty in his hands when he kisses her.

It should be embarrassing, really, that he has such control over her when they haven't even been _them_ in months.

He pulls away for a millisecond, giving her the chance to stop him, to protest, but she doesn't, simply leaning into him more.

He smiles at the reaction, kissing her again, and when Jackson makes his presence known behind her, sprouting the excuse she'd asked him to use, she brushes it off without taking her eyes of Mark.

Jackson isn't even out the door before his lips are on hers again, and she really wishes she had a little more self-control.

"Let's get out of here," he says, his voice a low rumble that makes her melt.

"Yeah," she breathes instantaneously, before she has a chance to think it through.

..

They go back to Meredith's, and he's halfway through pulling off all her clothes the moment they enter the attic, when she stops him.

"We need to talk first," she says and he just gives her this smirk that she should be immune to by now but tries hard instead to ignore.

"We can talk after," he offers, reaching for her, but she puts a hand on his chest and takes a step back from him.

"We need to talk first," she repeats, and the smirk disappears, because he recognises that she's serious, and this is serious.

"Okay," he says slowly, sitting on her bed.

"I'm pregnant," she blurts, and he blinks a few times as he tries to comprehend this fact, and work it through in his mind.

"Pregnant," he says, testing the word out.

It sounds wrong, it feels wrong, because Lexie doesn't want kids, not yet, she wants to become a kickass surgeon first.

Also (mostly), because her kids were supposed to be his kids. It's a selfish thought, but he can't repress it.

"You're not going to…" he leaves the question because he can't say the words.

He knows how much it hurt when Addison had an abortion, and even if he doesn't want to think about it, there's some guy out there who fathered this baby – Lexie's baby – and he can't help but think this guy couldn't _not_ want Lexie's kid.

"I'm having it," she answers him, and he tries so hard to think before he speaks out of fear of saying something wrong.

Apparently he takes too long, and Lexie never did like silence, so she breaks it.

"You can go," she says, not spitefully, simply stating the option, looking at him with big eyes that are pleading for him to stay.

But he can't, he can't do this, and he can't think about what this means when she's looking at him, so he stands and walks to the door, glancing over his shoulder to look at her before leaving.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" He confirms.

She nods, and he tries not to notice the disappointment in her eyes.

"Bye."

..

He doesn't see her tomorrow.

He ends up being dragged into emergency surgery after emergency surgery and before he knows it the day's over.

He still doesn't know what to say to her, because even though they weren't together, even though they hadn't been together for a long time, it hurts, to know she's been sleeping with someone else; that she's having someone else's child.

He's getting in the elevator on his way home when he sees her, pressed against the back wall of the metal box, trying to look invisible.

He pulls the emergency stop after the other people step out and they're alone, and he asks the one question he needs the answer to.

"Who's the father?"

Possibilities have been taunting him.

Karev.

The thought makes him want to throw up.

Avery.

It wouldn't have crossed his mind, except she lives in that frat house and he sees the way Avery looks at her. It's the same way most guys look at her, but he has the advantage of proximity.

That stupid derm resident that never fails to approach her at Joe's, despite how many times she's turned him down.

Trying to imagine all the guys the Lexie could have slept with in the last few months makes his head explode, so he has to ask.

"You don't know him," she says quietly. "He doesn't work at the hospital."

It seems strange, really that she has been sleeping with someone who doesn't work with them, but maybe it's a good thing. Maybe it means he'll do the right thing by her, help her out, so that she can work and raise the kid too.

"He, uh, he isn't going to be …" She trails off nervously. "You probably won't ever meet him," she says instead, and he understands what she's trying to say immediately.

"He isn't going to help you out?" He asks, angry, although he's not sure why.

"He pretty much threw some money in my direction, told me to get rid of it, and left," she smiles humourlessly, and the sentence hits a little too close to home.

He was eighteen when Samantha Riley told him she was pregnant, and he did more or less the same thing.

"I'm sorry," he says, unsure of who he's apologising for.

She reaches around him to push in the emergency stop button and the elevator starts with a jolt.

"Not your problem," she replies, and he knows she means for it to sound nonchalant, but it comes out malicious, at least to his ears.

"Lexie-" he starts, but the elevator doors open and she steps out, moving too quickly for him to catch her.

* * *

This is just the prologue, the chapters will be longer.

Let me know what you think :)


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N:**

First of all, WOW! Thank you all so much for your reviews and alerts, I'm completely overwhelmed by the response to this story. Hope this chapter lives up to your expectations :)

Also, time moves rather quickly in this story, particularly in this chapter.

* * *

CHAPTER ONE

..

She's almost entirely sure that he's avoiding her.

Which is fine, really.

(Not really).

She resigned herself to doing this alone when it became clear that Scott wasn't going to be any help, and her father's reaction only cemented the conclusion.

Meredith and Derek made their support clear, but she's fairly sure sister and brother in law support means little more than the occasional baby sitter.

Mark…

She never meant to lead him on or make him think she was in any position to pick up where they left off, but with him all it takes is one look, one sentence, one kiss, and good intentions are out the window on an express train.

Mark did pretty much the same thing as her father, only without the yelling and the cursing.

Basically, she's alone.

Which is fine when the extent of her responsibilities is going to work and trying to control her morning sickness, but she knows that it will be harder when the baby's actually born, if not impossible.

..

He realises he was one of the first people she told, when the rumour that Lexie Grey is pregnant flies around the hospital a week later.

Callie approaches him and asks if he knocked her up, proceeding to lecture him about doing the right thing before he cuts her off to inform her that no, he is not the father of Lexie's baby.

Then she looks at him with something akin to sympathy, and he doesn't know how to handle it, so he makes an excuse about a patient and leaves her to feel sorry for someone else.

..

_You can do this, you can do this, you can do this. _

It's a mantra that she repeats constantly because if she stops to contemplate anything else she might break down.

She's starting to show.

Like, actually show, not just when she thought she was showing and Meredith told her she was being ridiculous.

The thought scares the hell out of her.

It's not as if the pregnancy is a secret.

She's told Meredith and Derek, and the other people who live in the house – it seems to change night to night. Mark knows, and she knows the majority of the hospital does too, because she overheard two nurses talking about her a week ago.

Their conversation wasn't exactly flattering, but it was realistic, and she knows it's not exactly going to be easy – being a single mother, while trying to maintain a surgical career. She knows it's going to be hard; impossible.

But she's going to do it, even if she has to switch to an easier, less time consuming specialty.

She descends the stairs to find one of Alex's skanks in the kitchen and throws up a little in her mouth.

She needs to move out.

She knows this.

Her child cannot grow up in a frat house.

..

He's barely seen her in months. He doesn't know whether she's purposefully avoiding plastics or she's just stuck on another specialty, but either way he's barely seen her.

It's not as if he's seeking her out.

He still doesn't know what the hell he's doing.

He loves her.

He knows this.

It's almost one of his defining characteristics now, being hopelessly in love with Lexie Grey.

But she's having a baby, a baby that is not his, and he really thinks avoiding her is the best option.

She doesn't need him and his confusion right now. She needs all or nothing and he isn't quite at _all_ yet.

..

She finds the cheapest apartment she can that isn't hours from the hospital.

It's tiny – one bedroom and barely enough space to live in by herself, let alone raise a child in, but she can afford it, and it doesn't have cockroaches. Win-win.

..

She isn't expecting Meredith to take her shopping for baby clothes.

While her sister has been surprisingly helpful and supportive during the pregnancy, shopping wasn't exactly on the short list of things she anticipated from Meredith. It wasn't even on the long list.

Covering for her at work when she had morning sickness? Sure.

Baby clothes and paraphernalia shopping? Absolutely not.

She feels guilty enough that Meredith and Derek have been trying for months to have a child – and still are – with all sorts of painful fertility treatments, and she has a one night stand and gets pregnant.

"You don't have anything for the baby," Meredith tells her, and while Lexie knows it to be true, she's had more important things to worry about than shopping for a baby that is still three months away.

There's also that other tiny factor of money.

So while Meredith is pointing out fifty dollar onesies, she's thinking her kid is never going to have anything ever.

She ends up bawling her eyes out in the middle of the store.

Meredith looks horrified, and has no idea what to do, so she pulls Lexie to her in an awkward hug, guiding her out of the store.

"What's wrong?" Meredith asks, and she can barely hold off the tears for more than a second to explain.

"I-" hiccup. "I can't afford any of that!" She says before continuing to cry, and Meredith's eyes widen as she nods.

"Oh."

Meredith doesn't know what to say, because she's never really had to think about money, let alone raising a kid on an intern's salary.

"It's okay," she says, pulling tissues from her purse, and staring Lexie down. "This is not a problem. We'll have a baby shower. People will bring gifts and we can sort out whatever else you might need from there."

Her voice is so confident, as if this is such a non-issue they shouldn't even be wasting words on it that Lexie can't help but nod.

"Okay."

"Okay."

..

She never really appreciated that she has a genius for a sister before.

She does now.

They have the baby shower at the hospital, and people she's barely spoken more than a sentence to come by to congratulate her and drop off a small gift.

She can barely count the number of onesies she has now.

Meredith just smirks at her knowingly.

..

He goes to the baby shower.

He can't avoid it.

More than half the hospital stops by because "Lexie Grey is really one of the nicest residents".

She should know by now how many people like her because she says please and thank you and is just generally adorable.

The pile of gifts attests to that fact.

He couldn't help himself. Some tiny token gesture present seemed insulting really, to give the love of his life.

Especially when Derek told him she had some sort of breakdown in the middle of a shopping mall because she's broke and pregnant.

He gets her a stroller. And a car seat. And a yearlong supply of diapers.

He has Callie deposit them stealthily in the pile when Lexie isn't looking, because some things she doesn't need to know.

He knows Meredith and Derek got her a crib, and he figures that combined with all the onesies and toys, it's a good start.

He's smiling at her from across the room while she's talking to a nurse he hasn't slept with and doesn't know the name of, when Derek commissions him into helping get the crib into Lexie's apartment.

"It's a surprise," he explains, nodding toward Meredith. "She wants it done by the time Lexie gets home, and now's the best chance we'll have."

He can't argue with that, and he'd rather help Derek than watch her from a distance for another hour.

"Let's go."

..

"Meredith gave me a key," Derek explains, as he jiggles the key in the lock and finally gets it to pop open.

He never saw the crapartment she shared with O'Malley, but it had to have been better than this.

It's tiny, and dingy, and really so far from homey that he isn't sure how Lexie can bare it.

He puts the box on the floor, opening it to find a million pieces that apparently when assembled make up a crib, and he really hates Derek for doing this to him.

"You couldn't have got one that came assembled?" He complains and Derek just grins.

"What's the fun in that?"

..

They can barely fit the crib in her room, among all the boxes and the stuff crammed into the tiny space.

"Why'd you let her leave your place?" He asks Derek, who smiles at him sympathetically.

"She wanted to. She didn't want to have the baby grow up amongst the madness that is our house. We all said she could stay, that we'd work it out, but she wanted to do it on her own."

Mark sighs. Sounds like Lexie. Too stubborn to realise that raising a kid in an attic of a house with five other people was preferable to a tiny apartment with no one to help.

..

She's on his service for the first time in weeks; months, possibly, and he can't seem to get over just how pregnant she looks.

At seven months she's sporting a clear baby bump, and he knows better than to suggest she take it easy because he heard her screaming at Derek just last week in the corridor for making such a statement.

There are no major traumas, for which he's thankful, so they perform a routine rhinoplasty, and they're scrubbing out after a fairly stress-free day when he gets the chance to actually talk to her.

There's a lull in the polite conversation, and he can't help himself. He has to ask, because it's the one thing that has been in the back of his mind this whole time, nagging him.

"Why didn't you get an abortion?"

It's intrusive, and far too personal for the kind of relationship they've established over the last few months, and he probably could have phrased it more politely, but it just doesn't make a lot of sense to him.

The Lexie he knew didn't want kids, at least not yet.

She wanted to be twenty five and carefree; she wanted to enjoy this part of her life.

It also wasn't long ago that she dumped him because she didn't want to raise his grandson, and he can't ignore the insecurity any longer. _She'd rather raise some asshole's kid alone than your grandson with you_.

She looks at him when he asks the question, pressing her lips together before replying.

"I thought about it," she admits, dropping his gaze. "I made an appointment, I just… I couldn't do it. I mean, I'm pro-choice, I have nothing against women who make the choice, I just, I couldn't do it."

He nods, understanding, because he remembers the pain and regret that came with Addison's abortion, and he wouldn't wish it on anyone.

"I mean, this might not be how I thought my life would pan out, but it happened, and I know when she's born, I'm never going to be able to imagine my life without her."

He smiles, his eyes meeting hers.

"It's a girl?"

"Yeah," she grins back at him, and he pulls her into a congratulatory hug.

"You're going to be a wonderful mother, Lex," he tells her, with absolute certainty.

"Thanks."

* * *

Feedback would be very much appreciated :)


	3. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

..

He's eating lunch with Derek when it happens.

Derek's pager goes off and he stands immediately, and Mark is completely oblivious.

"Lexie's here," Derek says, and Mark knows what this means, because Lexie was told to go home three weeks ago and not come back until she was having contractions.

Plus, her due date was four days ago.

He only knows that because she's complained so much to Meredith that Meredith has unloaded on Derek, who in turn has fed scraps of their conversations to Mark.

It's like a twisted gossip tree.

"You coming?" Derek asks with a smile, because he knows the response before Mark even stands.

..

She doesn't page Meredith until things are actually progressing, because she doesn't want to distract her from actual work.

She's biting her lip through a contraction when Meredith arrives, her attention captured by the doctor.

"Who's this?" Meredith demands.

"Dr Johnstone," the woman introduces herself with a smile.

"You're having an intern deliver your baby?" Meredith verifies, incredulous.

"A resident," Lexie corrects. "Second year."

"Second year…" Meredith rolls her eyes.

"It's not like this is a high risk pregnancy. Everything is going fine, and if there were to be a complication…" Lexie drifts off, looking to Dr Johnstone to continue.

"Dr Cannon is on standby," she assures them with a confident smile.

Meredith sighs, conceding, but pulling the chair from the corner of the room closer to the bed and taking a seat.

"What are you doing?" Lexie asks, confused.

"Someone has to make sure she doesn't drop my niece on her head," Meredith responds, shooting a pleasant yet threatening smile at the doctor, who smiles back shakily.

..

She hasn't allowed herself to feel sorry for herself, or wish that she had someone by her side for the last nine months. She has been strong and independent and she wouldn't let anyone convince her that she needed a man to have this baby.

Now, she's regretting it, because she's having contractions, and they hurt, because she was stupid enough to refuse an epidural, and Meredith is with her, but it really isn't the same.

She doesn't squeeze Meredith's hand because Meredith doesn't deserve the pain. Meredith is being a good, supportive sister, but this is the moment when she really wishes she had someone else, someone who was really going through this with her.

She isn't desperate enough to want Scott with her, though.

That's the one thing that keeps her mind off the pain. Given the option, doing this alone (with Meredith) or with Scott, she'd really rather be alone.

So she squeezes the sheets as another contraction hits, ignoring Meredith's offer of a hand to hold.

..

Scott was a mistake made due to a few too many drinks and a stomach full of jealousy after seeing Mark with Derek's sister.

He was there, and he wasn't looking at her like she was crazy, and he was saying nice things, even if she knew they were all lies aimed at charming her into bed.

Alex had blown her off, and Mark clearly didn't want her.

But Scott did, and she couldn't bring herself to care that he only wanted her for the night.

..

Her father shows up.

She left him a message that she hoped sounded disinterested and merely informative when she arrived at the hospital, leaving it up to him whether or not to come.

Apparently over the last few months he has come to terms with the idea of his supposedly most responsible daughter having a baby alone.

She doesn't want him in the room.

In a perfect world she'd have a supportive husband or boyfriend by her side, and her mother would be there, and this wouldn't hurt so much.

But it's not, and she asks him to wait outside, which he does, saying he'll wait with the others.

She doesn't know who the hell else cares enough to be waiting, because it really seems like a waste of time.

But they're being supportive, and it's kind of nice, really.

..

He didn't think this through.

Sitting in a waiting room with Derek and Thatcher Grey waiting for his ex-girlfriend and love of his life to give birth to someone else's kid is really not how he wants to spend an afternoon.

Except that he can't move for the life of him, because Lexie's having a baby, and he has to be here, even if he can't be in the room.

Thatcher's looking at him appraisingly, and he tries hard to ignore it, failing after a minute.

"What?"

"You and Lexie aren't…" he starts, and Derek smirks.

"We broke up," Mark says shortly, hoping to put an end to the conversation, and hopefully any future conversation, between himself and Thatcher Grey. He just wants to sit in silence and wait to hear that Lexie has had a healthy baby, so he can go.

"Right, okay," Thatcher says, looking to Derek who is still smirking. "Oh!"

Mark doesn't know what realisation he's having but thankfully he keeps it to himself.

..

He's staring at the wall, trying to ignore the awkwardness of being left alone with Thatcher Grey because Derek had to check on a patient when Callie walks past.

"Torres!" He calls, desperate for any form of a distraction, and she stops in her tracks, turning to him.

"I heard Lexie's here?" She asks, and Mark nods. "What are you doing out here?"

"I'm-" he trails off when he realises he doesn't have an answer.

"You should be in there. Have you even seen her?"

The look on his face answers her question, and she rolls her eyes.

"Nine months ago you were wanting to propose. What the hell is wrong with you that you won't go hold her hand?"

He can feel Thatcher's eyes on him without even turning his head, and clearly Callie doesn't realise that it's Lexie's father occupying the seat to his left, which makes this conversation even more painful.

"You want a kid, you want a family, and you want Lexie. It really isn't difficult," she continues.

When he doesn't respond she sighs, muttering "you're an idiot," before walking away.

He's well aware of how much of an idiot he is.

He wants Lexie, and he wants a family.

But it isn't just the two of them anymore; there's a baby in the picture now – or at least there will be within an hour – and he knows he can't be selfish. He knows he can't be blinded by his love for Lexie; he has to be realistic.

No one ever wanted him to be a father to their child.

Not Addison, not Sloan, so why would Lexie be any different?

..

After twelve hours of labour she's exhausted, and Meredith's cutting the umbilical cord and generally telling the OB resident what to do.

It would be humorous if she wasn't so tired and desperate to see her daughter.

Meredith is the one to hand her the baby, and she's struck by how real this is, that she's a mother, to this perfect baby girl, and she honestly has no clue how she's going to do it without messing everything up.

Meredith wants to know the name, and she wants to know where this excited, supportive sister came from.

She's never been more grateful.

"Paige Susan. Paige Susan Grey," she says decisively, because out of all the names, it's the only one that fits the baby in her arms.

Meredith smiles, and the OB nurse takes her to be measured and weighed and cleaned up, and she can tell Meredith wants to go and tell Derek that everything's okay.

"Go," she allows with a smile, as she watches Meredith leave.

She doesn't know how it's possible, because she only saw her for a few moments, but she aches for her daughter.

..

Meredith shouldn't be surprised to see Mark Sloan sitting beside Derek and Thatcher, but she is.

"Healthy baby girl," she announces, and they break into grins at the news. "She's getting cleaned up now."

"How's Lexie?" Mark asks, and she shares a bemused look with Derek before answering.

"She's good. Great."

..

He leaves when they go in to see Lexie, mumbling an excuse about a patient that he knows Derek and Meredith don't believe.

He's on his way to the elevator, he is, but he can't help himself; he makes a detour.

Lexie's daughter is beautiful.

As if she could be anything else.

She has a tiny nose and a perfect mouth and a few strands of dark hair. It takes him a few minutes to tear his eyes away from her, and he only does so because a nurse is getting ready to move her, presumably to take her to Lexie.

The moment he sees her he knows he's going to love the child, and the idea doesn't even scare him.

..

"Mark was here," Thatcher informs her, as she tries to look unaffected by the knowledge. "Waited for two hours to make sure everything was okay."

Derek snickers and she glares at him.

"But he left?" She confirms and Thatcher nods.

"Had a patient to check on," he explains.

"Right."

..

It's strange, not seeing her around the hospital.

He hasn't exactly spent a lot of time with her over the last eight months, but he _saw_ her. In the cafeteria, in the corridors, in the elevators.

Knowing he's not going to run into her is a whole different thing, and he doesn't like it.

He could always go visit her.

He knows where she lives; he knows she's on maternity leave and most likely spending a lot of time at home.

Every time he gets to her building he can't make himself go in.

..

She gets twelve weeks maternity leave, which would be great, except that it's unpaid.

So she's back at the hospital at ten weeks, standing outside the day care with a severe case of separation anxiety.

The carers are nice, and responsible, and she knows Paige will be fine, but she's spent the last two and a half months barely leaving her alone, and the idea of leaving her with these strangers for hours isn't comforting.

She's still standing outside the day care when Bailey passes her, holding Tuck's hand. She gives her a smile on the way in and a sympathetic look five minutes later when she's minus a son and headed to work.

"Lexie," she says, approaching her knowingly. "Rounds started fifteen minutes ago."

"I know," she responds, because she _does_. She's been standing, rooted to the spot for half an hour, watching time pass on her watch, while holding a sleeping, peacefully ignorant baby.

"Here," Bailey gestures, holding out her arms. "Can I hold her?"

Lexie agrees reluctantly, watching as Bailey carefully takes Paige in her arms, her daughter never stirring once.

"Now, I'm going to walk in there, and you're going to follow me. Paige is going to have a nice day with Tara and Sue, and you are going to get your butt to the locker room and start doing your job."

Somehow she manages to express the motivating speech in a soft tone, which doesn't disturb Paige.

Lexie simply nods dumbly in response, following Bailey into the day care.

..

She spends the day on Derek's service, trying desperately to ignore the fact that she has a daughter downstairs who has probably woken up by now.

"Lexie," Derek's voice snaps her out of her thoughts, as she regurgitates medical knowledge like Lexipedia the robot.

Derek praises her and asks her to scrub in, but she knows how long the procedure will take, and she also knows that technically she's off at eight.

She opens her mouth a few times before responding. "Maybe Matlby would like the opportunity?" She says instead, turning to the intern beside her who nods enthusiastically.

"Fine."

Derek leaves looking pissed, and she really doesn't know why. It's her decision, and yes she's missing out on seeing a rare procedure, and yes, he's going to be stuck with a practically incompetent intern, but she has other priorities now, and while Matlby can take over in the OR, she's the only one who is going to pick up Paige from day care and take her home.

..

She's charting.

Charting because she passed on an unbelievably cool surgery, and pissed off her brother in law/boss at the same time.

He could have at least pretended to be understanding.

"You're a surgeon. I know you're a mother too, but when you're here you're a surgeon. You cannot pass on every opportunity to learn because you have to pick up Paige, or you're going to get to the end of your residency and have learnt nothing, and then it will have all been for nothing."

His words are on repeat, taunting her, refusing to leave her alone.

She knows he has a point.

She still hates it.

..

He doesn't know when it became appropriate for Derek to complain about Lexie to him, but Derek doesn't seem to see the problem.

"She's distracted, she's exhausted… She can't continue like this."

"Cut her some slack," Mark offers as advice, reluctant to continue the conversation.

"She's too stubborn for her own good."

"Have you just met her? This is Lexie, she's always been this way."

He has loved it about her since she showed up at his hotel room and demanded that he teach her, only faltering once.

"Cut her some slack," he repeats, before standing and leaving the conversation behind.

..

He didn't dispute Derek's claims about Lexie, but he doesn't realise just how bad it is until he finds her asleep in the gallery.

The small room is empty and she's sitting upright, her head drooped forward with her chin resting on her chest as she sleeps.

It doesn't look comfortable, and that only reinforces just how tired she must be.

"Lexie," he says softly, not wanting to scare her. "Lex," he repeats louder, having to resort to shaking her shoulder slightly.

She's awake and alert immediately, blinking rapidly.

"Crap," she mumbles, gaining her awareness of her surroundings. "What time is it?" She asks, even as she's looking to her own watch.

"Ten to seven," he responds.

"God," she's moving so quickly he can barely keep up. "I gotta go pick up Paige."

He places a hand on her arm, and it stills her immediately. "You okay, Lex?" He asks softly, and she nods rapidly.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just have to get Paige before the day care closes."

She's gone before he can even think to suggest she slow down.

* * *

__**A/N:**

Once again, thank you all for your support and reviews, they make my day :D


	4. Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

..

She's sitting alone in the cafeteria, practically inhaling her food in an effort to drop in on Paige before her lunch break ends, when he slides into the seat beside her.

She can't supress a confused frown at his presence, because they've barely spoken over the last few months unless it was about work, and he hasn't even met Paige.

"You need someone," he starts, only furthering her confusion. "You need someone to look after Paige when surgery runs long, or when you're called to the hospital in an emergency, or when you need a full night's sleep. I can help you."

"Mark-" she tries to stop him but he puts a finger over her lips, and she tries to ignore the flood of memories that come with the simple gesture.

"So whenever you need someone to watch her, call me, even if it's the middle of the night."

She nods, knowing full well she won't be calling him anytime soon. She can do this by herself.

It hasn't been easy, and she's been running on approximately four hours of interrupted sleep a night, and she's fairly certain she has permanent bags under her eyes, but she's surviving.

She has her father, who has been amazing, even though it took a little while for her to fully trust him with Paige, and he watches her when her shifts exceed the hours of the hospital's day care, and it works, for the most part.

But there are nights when she needs to stay with a patient, or scrub in on a surgery, but can't because she has to pick up Paige and then take her to her father's and by the time she returns it's usually been a huge waste of time because the surgery's over or someone else has ended up monitoring the patient.

"If you don't call me at least once in the next week I'll make sure you get put on every procedure that exceeds seven hours for the next month," he says before walking away and her mouth drops.

Rude.

..

She knows Derek's testing her, when she's scrubbing out and he tells her the patient will need to be woken up every hour to ensure there are no side effects from the surgery. She's about to nod and make an excuse, but instead she turns to him with a smile.

"Will do."

She finds Mark in the lobby, on his way home.

"Mark!"

He stops at the sound of her voice, turning around.

"I have to stay at the hospital tonight, so I was wondering, could you…" she can't actually say the words, because she'd much rather be going home with her daughter than staying up for twelve hours to wake a patient who would also rather be sleeping.

"You want me to watch Paige?" He asks with a smile.

"Yes, please. If it's not too much trouble."

"I'd love to," he says genuinely, following her to the day care.

..

He watches her with Paige and he shouldn't be, but he really is surprised at how she's such a natural mother.

"If you take her to my place," she says, handing him a key, "she usually goes down pretty well, there's breast milk in bottles in the fridge, and –"

"Lexie," he stops her. "We're going to be fine. We're going to have a great time. So why don't you go back to work, and I'll bring her back here tomorrow morning."

"Okay," she sighs, kissing Paige's forehead before transferring her into Mark's waiting arms. "Call me if you need anything."

"We'll be fine," he repeats.

..

It's when he gets to Lexie's place that he realises he should have let her ramble on and give him the good advice he clearly needs. Paige is crying, wailing, actually, by the time he gets inside Lexie's apartment, and he tries everything, but she won't stop. He changes her, he feeds her, and he puts her in her crib.

_Usually goes down pretty well _my ass, he thinks as he stands in Lexie's room cradling a screaming infant.

Lexie's kid hates him.

It's the only rational conclusion.

He calls Derek to inform him of the fact, and Derek laughs at him.

"She doesn't hate you. She doesn't know you," he amends and Mark rolls his eyes.

"Same difference. Can you hear her screaming in the background?"

"I can," Derek chuckles. "She probably just misses Lexie. Hang in there," he says, before hanging up.

"Hang in there," Mark scowls, "that's not helpful."

Paige just continues to cry, as he realises that maybe some of Derek's words were useful.

"You miss your mom?" He asks Paige, his voice an octave higher than normal.

He searches Lexie's room for anything that smells like her, but she's still a neat freak, apparently, because there are no clothes to be seen in the room, so he takes the pillowcase off her pillow and wraps it around Paige.

She starts to quieten down slowly and he can finally think clearly.

"Thank God," he mumbles, as her eyes close, and he lowers her into her crib.

He momentarily considers that the couch would be preferable to Lexie's bed, but he looks at Paige and realises he has no idea if Lexie has a baby monitor (although he's almost positive Paige's cries would wake him from anywhere in the apartment), and he isn't exactly fond of the thought of leaving her alone, so he drops on the bed, trying to ignore the awkwardness.

Apparently the smell of Lexie helps him sleep too.

..

He is woken two hours later to the sound of a very unhappy baby, and he is mentally unprepared for doing this all over again. He never realised how debilitating it is to listen to a baby cry for what feels like hours on end.

But when he finally gets her back to sleep it's worth it, and he collapses on Lexie's bed, praying he'll get a little longer than two hours this time.

..

In the rare moment that Paige's awake and not crying, he's struck by how much she looks like Lexie. Her once blue eyes are now the same colour as Lexie's, and her dark hair is more prominent. She has Lexie's nose and mouth, and he really wonders whether Lexie somehow perfected cloning in her spare time, because he can't see one feature that this baby didn't get from her.

It makes it almost impossible not to love her.

He takes her to work with him, and he's still in the clothes he wore yesterday, and he hasn't showered in forty eight hours.

After bathing Paige he didn't have it in him to shower himself, and he was too nervous to leave her alone.

So he arrives at the hospital completely exhausted, and he's pretty sure, giving off a stench. He texts Lexie when he gets there, and she practically materialises before his eyes she arrives so quickly.

"How'd it go?" She asks, reaching for Paige, and he's torn between telling her the truth and telling her it went great.

He settles for some sort of mid ground.

"Pretty well, once I got the hang of it. She cried pretty solidly for a while when she realised she was stuck with me," he chuckles, and she winces.

"Sorry."

"Don't be. It was great. She's great. I just don't know how you do it every night, I'm exhausted," he says, and she shrugs as if it's no big deal, but he recognises the exhaustion etched in her every feature.

"I'm happy to do it again anytime," he offers, hoping she believes him, because he really thinks she could use a full night's sleep every once in a while.

"Okay. Thank you, Mark," she says, and he can see the gratefulness in her eyes.

"No worries."

At least she didn't comment on the stench.

..

When Lexie doesn't ask him to watch Paige again after two weeks, he goes to her.

He knows it is only because she's stubborn and unwilling to be an imposition – even though he doesn't see it that way, and he has made that quite clear.

He knocks on her door and she answers it in sweats and a t-shirt, Paige in her arms.

"Hey," she looks confused by his presence but steps aside to let him in anyway. "What are you doing here?"

"Wanted to see you," he answers vaguely, as he gestures to Paige. "Can I hold her?"

She nods and transfers Paige into his arms, smiling when Paige gurgles happily.

"You need a full night's sleep," he tells her. "So while you do that, I'm gunna hang out with Paige here," he says, and she rolls her eyes.

"You don't need to do that. She's almost consistently sleeping through the night now," Lexie says proudly, but Mark rolls his eyes.

"Yet you still have bags under your eyes. So, you get some sleep, and if she wakes up, I will be the one to get her, understand?"

"Mark that's really sweet," she starts, approaching him and taking Paige from his arms. "But it's ridiculous. This apartment is tiny. If she's up, I'll be up."

"Right," he realises, reaching into his pocket and grabbing his keys and putting them in her free hand. "You go sleep at my place, or Meredith's, or wherever, and you can come by tomorrow on your way to work. Paige and I will be fine."

She remains defiant, but he isn't above playing dirty.

He puts a hand on her cheek and watches her breath catch.

His lips hover millimetres from hers, and her eyes are widening by the second; an expression he hasn't seen in far too long, and he almost falters at the sight of it.

She doesn't even notice his hands moving until she feels Paige's absence.

The baby is smiling at him and he focuses on that instead of Lexie's glare.

"I hate you."

"Go get some sleep, Lex."

He knows she only refrains from slamming the door because she doesn't want to upset Paige.

..

She catches on.

Every couple of weeks, or when something comes up she'll ask him, as if it's some huge favour, if he would watch Paige for a few hours, or occasionally the night.

He kind of likes (loves) the child.

She has the same kind of innocence Lexie used to exude, and he'd do anything to make sure she keeps it.

Her laugh makes something explode in his chest, something he's hesitant to call love but he doesn't know any other word to describe it.

He doesn't exactly find looking after her a chore.

He enjoys it.

Which is foreign to him and completely surprising.

Getting to see Lexie is just the icing on the cake.

..

It doesn't take him long to come to the conclusion that he wants this, all of it, with Lexie.

She asked him to pick up Paige from day care and take her home, promising to be not too far behind.

He's laying Paige in her crib as her eyes blink sleepily, and her hand refuses to let go of his fingers when it hits him, really hits him.

He could do this for the rest of his life.

He has always been insecure about his ability to be a father, an insecurity born out of being denied the opportunity time and time again.

But every time he is able to soothe Paige back to sleep or make her laugh, his fears and insecurities evaporate and are replaced with the realisation that he might actually be able to do this, and nothing would make him happier than doing it with Lexie.

He hears her in the hall long before she unlocks the door.

"Hey," she smiles, "is Paige –"

"Asleep," he answers, and she nods, dropping onto the couch.

"Thanks for doing that," she says gratefully, and he shrugs it off.

"It's no trouble," he tells her honestly, sitting beside her.

"Lexie, I –" he pauses, trying desperately to make sure he doesn't say the wrong thing. "I love you, and I love Paige and I want to be there for you, I want to be in your life," he's rambling, and he thinks it might be contagious because he sure as hell never rambled before he met Lexie Grey.

"Mark…"

The look on her face isn't promising, and the rejection hurts more than it should.

"I love you too," she starts, but he knows it isn't the end because she looks too regretful to leave it at that. "But…"

Here it is.

"Looking after Paige, and working… It's all I can handle at the moment. I can't… It's too much right now."

She's sorry; he can see it in her eyes even with the tears blocking her vision.

"It's okay," he says, even though he disagrees. He doesn't just want to be her boyfriend, he wants to be her daughter's father, and surely that would decrease the stress she's under, not add to it?

His fears float to the surface momentarily, and all he can think is that she doesn't want him sliding into the role of Paige's father.

But all it takes is one look at her, and the regret in her eyes silences his apparently inescapable self-doubt.

She's always so open, and free with her emotions, displaying them proudly on her face, and he's never been more grateful for it. She looks so completely overwhelmed and exhausted, and he can't even find it in himself to be angry with her because it's clear that this is breaking her heart too.

"I guess, I'll, uh," he gestures to the door awkwardly. "If you need anything…" he adds, trying to express that he understands, even if he hates it, and she nods.

"I'll see you around."


	5. Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR

..

She avoids him expertly, for weeks.

She knows her dad is wondering why his time with Paige has increased, but he wisely doesn't mention it, and for that, she's supremely thankful.

She has been choosing the stairs over the elevators because there's less chance of running into him, but she weakens because it's the end of the day, she's exhausted, and she isn't even sure she has the physical capacity to walk from the elevator to the day care centre and to the car park, let alone up a flight of stairs.

So she takes the elevator.

It's a mistake.

He gets in it at the last minute, and when he realises he has her alone he pulls the emergency stop and stands in front of the doors, facing her.

"This is ridiculous. You don't need to avoid me. It doesn't have to be awkward. You're trying to do it all on your own again, and it isn't working. I'm still happy to watch Paige whenever you need it."

She opens her mouth multiple times in an effort to reply, but instead she ends up nodding furiously.

"Okay."

..

They fall into a seamless routine.

Thursdays become Mark's nights with Paige, upon his insistence, because he thinks she needs at least one night of uninterrupted sleep.

Her father still helps out when she's on nights, and if she's running late any other night Mark takes Paige home and waits for her there.

It's kind of perfect.

She feels guilty for all that he does for her, but only ever momentarily, because he makes sure to quash her guilt at every given opportunity.

He says he likes spending time with Paige, which is hard to believe until you see him with her.

It's impossible not to find it charming, that he loves her daughter; that he gets excited when she smiles or laughs or crawls for the first time.

As if he needed to get any sexier.

..

After months of incomprehensible babble, Paige says her first words just shy of eleven months, when they're sitting in the day care centre over their lunch break.

She's ridiculously proud, more proud than she's ever been in her life, when "mama" comes out of Paige's mouth as her little arm reaches for her mother, and Mark grins.

"She's your daughter; did you really think she was going to take her time with talking?" He asks teasingly, and she pokes her tongue out at him before returning to Paige, praising her continuously.

"She's smart," she declares, and Mark smiles.

"She's a chatterbox, just like you. You're gunna wish you could return to the silent days. I look forward to seeing how you deal with the incessant Lexie Grey chatter."

He's grinning playfully, and she has a retort right on the tip of her tongue, but she won't give him the satisfaction.

"Now you're just being petty."

..

It's Thursday night, and she is moments away from collapsing in bed when there's a knock at the door, and she's there in record time because she's petrified it's Mark and something's wrong with Paige.

It's Meredith.

"Oh," she frowns at her sister. "What's up?"

Meredith seems to sense she's alone, inquiring "where's Paige?"

"Mark's watching her," she responds casually, hoping to let it slip by.

"Why?" Meredith's the confused one now, and all Lexie wants to do is slam the door so she can sleep, but she refrains, instead simply shrugging in response to the question.

"Why are you here?" She asks, trying not to sound rude, although it takes almost all of her energy. "I was just about to go to bed."

"I was going to take my niece off your hands for the night and see if I could watch her tomorrow, I have the day off."

Since the pending adoption of Zola, Meredith has been wanting to spend increasing amounts of time with Paige, in an effort to eradicate some of her doubts about becoming a mother, and Lexie can't help but empathise.

She's thankful, really, because she hates how much time Paige spends in day care, and any time she gets to spend with Meredith or Mark or her father is preferable.

So she nods, running a hand through her hair tiredly, trying to sort out the logistics.

"Mark was going to take her straight today care, but I could see if he could drop her off at your place instead?" She offers, and Meredith nods.

"Okay," she agrees easily, smirking. "So McSteamy's back."

"He's just doing something nice for me."

"Yeah, so you'll let him be all McSteamy for you again," Meredith shoots back, still smirking.

"He can't turn it on and off, Mer, he just is," she responds, too tired to filter the words coming out of her mouth.

Meredith just shakes her head. "You're heading into dangerous pretend friend territory, Lexie, trust me, I know. Next thing you know you'll be losing your panties at prom."

Clearly rambling and consequently divulging too much information is a Grey trait.

She's rarely on the other side of it, so she has no clue how to respond.

"Just be careful," Meredith advises, changing her approach.

..

When Lexie calls, he's prepared to endure a lecture on how Paige's favourite toy is the giraffe this week, not the panda.

Instead, he gets a rambling speech that basically boils down to him dropping Paige at Meredith and Derek's in the morning instead of day care because Meredith has the day off.

He knows Lexie feels guilty for using the day care so often, because her mother was a stay at home mom, and it kills her that Paige spends so much time with strangers at day care.

So he agrees easily, before recounting exactly how he's spent the night, concluding with putting Paige down half an hour ago.

"Thanks, Mark."

She always sounds so supremely grateful, and he, as always, brushes it off.

"No problem. Sleep well, Lex."

..

He can feel Meredith's eyes on him as he says goodbye to Paige, and he's never felt more self-conscious in his life.

He almost foregoes the kiss on the forehead that he gives her every time he says goodbye, but the moment he goes to give her to Meredith she clings to him, as if she knows something is missing, and he smirks, conceding.

"Bye, Paige," he murmurs, kissing her on the forehead before handing her to Meredith. "She likes the giraffe, this week," he explains to Meredith, who nods dumbly, apparently shocked by the exchange.

"Lexie will be by to pick her up after work," he adds, putting Paige's bag down and leaving with a wave.

He's half way to his car when she comes after him, Paige still in her arms.

"You love her," she says, as if this fact is suddenly dawning, and he turns around to face her, his face impassive.

"You love them both," she realises, and he nods slightly.

"Yes."

"Then what the hell are you doing?" She demands angrily.

He sighs, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Lexie… She's –"

"She's a Grey," Meredith interrupts knowingly, and his eyes narrow.

"I was going to say overwhelmed."

"She's a Grey," Meredith repeats, as it explains everything, and maybe to her it does. "Don't give up on her," she adds softly, giving him a smile before returning to the house.

..

It's a month later, when Mark has offered to babysit Paige when she's on call, and she's putting Paige in his arms that it happens.

"Dada," she says, smiling, and Mark almost drops her out of shock.

Lexie looks embarrassed, and she's having second thoughts about leaving her with him, because she's getting too attached.

Mark just ignores it, because he doesn't really see any other option, and smiles.

"You want me to drop her at day care in the morning?" he asks, and she nods.

"If you could, that'd be great," she manages, still in shock.

"No problem. Say bye-bye to mommy, kiddo," Mark says to Paige, waving her hand at Lexie. "Have a good night."

He knows she's surprised, and embarrassed, but he can't help but think it was inevitable.

He spends more time with Paige than any other man in Lexie's life, so really, what were they expecting?

"You're a smart kid, Paige," he coos, because she didn't really do anything wrong, and to discourage her verbal development would be a mistake.

"One day your mom's going to come to her senses and you'll be able to call me dada as much as you like."

..

The next thing she knows Tara from day care starts referring to Mark as her boyfriend, and she awkwardly has to correct her.

"Oh, I'm sorry, he's just always dropping Paige off, I just assumed…"

"It's fine," Lexie replies, realising for the first time just how often she pawns Paige off on Mark. Somehow the frequency has increased over time, and she's barely noticed it. She has a demanding job and he gets that, and he seems honestly happy to do it. He always says he likes being her go-to person, and she likes it too, because it's easy and they know each other, and they get on so well. She didn't realise she was taking advantage of his friendship.

..

"I'll see you Thursday, Paige," Mark says, and Lexie pauses. He takes Paige every Thursday night, and it really seems like a huge imposition with a bit of perspective.

"I was thinking of taking her to see my dad on Thursday," she lies, and his eyes snap up to meet hers.

"Oh," he looks disappointed, and she can't help but wonder if he does it intentionally, so she doesn't feel guilty for all that he does for her. "We could do it Friday night instead, then?" He offers.

"You don't have to do this, okay? You don't have to watch her every Thursday night, or every Tuesday of Sunday, for that matter," she says, because she's being thinking it over, and this has been happening far more than once a week. Mark Sloan has a crib in his apartment for God's sake.

"Is this about last night? Because it's fine, I –"

"It's not about last night! It's just, I'm always pawning her off on you, and I'm treating you like her father, or my boyfriend and I can't do it anymore."

He looks so hurt that she doesn't know what to say, so she just reaches for Paige, but he resists, pressing a kiss to the child's forehead.

Somehow it feels like a goodbye, and he hates it.

"See you soon, princess," he says pointedly, giving her one last kiss before handing her to Lexie, who promptly turns to leave.

"Dada."

..

She doesn't know what ass-hat decided assigning her to plastics for the day would be a good idea, but she'd really love to give them a piece of her mind.

"I'm on your service today," she informs Mark quietly, and he nods, putting a chart in her arms.

"Prep her for surgery. You can scrub in if you want," he says before walking away, and she really wishes she'd picked a better night to bite his head off, because now she has to decide between missing a once in a life time surgery or spending hours in the OR with Mark.

..

It was Derek's voice in her head that made the decision for her. Since she had Paige he's been constantly reminding her that when she's at the hospital she needs to put her learning first, so she decides she can endure hours beside Mark in an OR.

She can.

He's mostly silent throughout the procedure, only speaking to her to ask her a question about the surgery, and she's thankful that he's able to put aside the personal in favour of the professional.

It's when they're scrubbing out that he snaps.

"What the hell happened last night, Lexie?" He demands, scrubbing his hands with a fervour that surely must hurt.

"I-" she begins, unsuccessfully trying to respond.

"I don't understand," he adds softly, and she swallows, trying to be clear.

"This isn't fair to you, you don't deserve it," she says quietly. "You never go out, you never have women over, because I'm always asking you to watch my daughter, and you shouldn't have to. You should be able to live your life the way you want."

"Don't you get it?" he asks, honestly shocked. "I love you, Lex, and I love Paige, and I don't want anyone else. If that's too much for you to handle right now, that's fine, but I'm not going anywhere, and I really hope you don't take her away from me because of it."

Her mouth drops open, and she doesn't know what to say to that, because he's acting like Paige's father, he's talking as if he's her father, and while she wishes that were the case, it's not, and he doesn't have to do this.

But the emotion on his face is clear, it's self-doubt, as if he thinks he isn't good enough, or something equally ridiculous, and she knows she has to silence it, even if she's too shocked to respond with more than a few words.

"I'll bring her by Thursday, then?" She manages to press out, and a grin breaks across his face.

"Yeah. That would be great."

..

By the time Thursday rolls around, she has made a decision.

She's been mistreating him, she knows this.

She's been leaning on him, and depending on him in ways she has no right to, and she has been unknowingly taking advantage of the fact that he apparently still loves her.

It has to stop.

..


	6. Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE

..

Lexie knocks on the door hesitantly, balancing Paige on one hip and her bag on her shoulder, and she smiles nervously when Mark opens the door.

"There she is," he grins, lifting Paige into his arms and pulling funny faces at her.

She giggles happily, and Lexie stalls as she hands him the bag.

"I, uh –" she chuckles to herself, because she really should not be so nervous. "I was wondering if maybe I could stay, we could have dinner?" She asks, and he steps aside to let her into the apartment with a smile.

"I have to warn you, the only thing in the fridge is food for this little one and week old Chinese."

She laughs at that, because he never was the domestic type. (She ignores the fact he apparently shops for food for Paige).

"How does pizza sound?" He asks, and she smiles.

"Sounds great."

..

She has missed this.

She'd tried so hard to forget what it was like, actually spending time with him.

Paige is asleep, and they're sitting comfortably on the couch in front of the television with a pizza box between them.

It's so completely easy with him, and she honestly can't even remember a reason why she ever let him go.

Mark grabs the pizza box and stands when she finishes off the last slice, headed to the kitchen.

"I'd offer you dessert, but I think we've already established the lack of food in my kitchen," he laughs, tossing the box and returning to the couch.

Now's the time, she realises, because they don't have a buffer, and she knows she hasn't exactly been clear as to why she wanted to do this.

Over the last few months, they've fallen into some sort of pseudo-relationship, and she doesn't know how it happened without her even noticing. What she does know is that she can't keep treating him like her daughter's father, placing all this responsibility on his shoulders, when really, he has no reason to accept it.

Except he does, apparently, because he loves her, and he's been biding his time and acting like her boyfriend, waiting for her to come around, while she has been merely trying to get through each day, too exhausted to even notice.

Given a little thought, it really seems ridiculous that she's doing this too him because she's overwhelmed and generally exhausted.

She loves him – she's come to realise she always will, and if the last couple of years have taught her anything, it's that time with the people you love is precious.

She opens her mouth to learn she has no idea how to put all of these thoughts and feelings into semi coherent sentences, so instead she tries to make herself understood through actions.

She stands when he reaches her, and he looks at her, confused.

"Wh-"

She touches his cheek softly before pressing her lips to his, effectively muffling his words.

She knows he's confused, and surprised by her actions, because he doesn't respond to the kiss immediately. When he does he's tentative, and it makes her smile against his lips.

"Wha..." he murmurs, and she smiles at his inability to speak. God (and just about every woman in America) knows it isn't exactly easy to render Mark Sloan speechless.

She just kisses him again, and he doesn't waste any time the second time around, slipping his hands through her hair and kissing her back.

She'd almost forgotten what it was like to be kissed by him; like the rest of the world has melted away.

But it hasn't, because she hears Paige crying through the fog, and she pulls away reluctantly.

She touches a hand to her lips because God, it's been so long since she's been kissed like that that her legs are almost unable to support her.

He is smiling as she steps backwards, heading for Paige and trying desperately to form an articulate sentence.

"I'll, uh, I'll be right back," she says, and he's chuckling at her stammering.

She reaches Paige and successfully soothes her back to sleep, taking a deep breath and trying to get her thoughts straight.

Somehow Mark Sloan has the uncanny ability to render her unable to function.

When she returns to the living room he hasn't moved, he's still standing, waiting for her, smiling.

"She's asleep," Lexie explains and Mark nods, reaching for her when she stops a few feet away from him and drawing her closer.

She smiles at his enthusiasm, because there really was a tiny part of her that was afraid that he would turn her away.

She knows there is a conversation they should be having but when his lips touch hers she really can't bring herself to care.

But then she thinks of Paige, and that it isn't fair to her, because there aren't only two of them in this relationship anymore.

"Mark," she wrenches her lips from his, which is really harder than it should be. "We should talk about this."

He shakes his head, kissing her again.

"Not much to say that hasn't been said before," he adds quickly, before pressing his lips to hers.

"Love you, love Paige. Anything else?" He asks, his lips hovering millimetres from hers.

"I love you too," she offers, and he hesitates for a moment, letting the words sink in, before kissing her again.

..

It's not too long before it gets to the point where she either goes home or they move things to the bedroom, and she's not quite ready for the latter, despite how appealing it sounds in theory.

"I should go," she says softly, and he shakes his head.

"Why don't you stay?" He whispers. "Paige is down for the night, and then we can go in together in the morning."

It's tempting, oh so tempting, but she knows where staying the night is going to lead.

"I don't have any clothes," she chooses as her excuse, and she realises too late it was a poor choice, recognising the smirk on his face.

"You won't need any," he replies instantly, and God, just the tone of his voice makes her want to give in.

"It's a bad idea," she argues.

"It's not," he disagrees, kissing her lazily. "It's a great idea. We don't have to have sex," he tells her plainly, and she looks back at him, embarrassed that she's so transparent.

"I-"

"It's fine," he assures her, although the look on his face makes it clear that he doesn't understand what's going through her head.

"I just… I want to take things slowly, one step at a time."

"Even though we've already taken just about every step in the past?" He verifies and she laughs.

"Yes."

"It doesn't mean you can't stay," he points out, pulling her back down to him, and she rolls her eyes, pretending it's a difficult decision.

"Fine."

..

She wears the same clothes to the hospital the next day, which really isn't a rare event.

Half the time she falls asleep in her clothes and doesn't have time to change, or she hasn't had the time to do laundry.

More often than not, she showers at the hospital.

So it's not as if it's obvious that she's doing the walk of shame.

Which is why Meredith doesn't comment on it – because they've been through this before.

It's Alex who is apparently the clueless one, or the one who knows the look on her face too well. (She refuses to acknowledge that it's probably the latter.)

"Someone got laid," he says as he passes her in the locker room, and she scoffs and rambles and stammers, and apparently that is what gives it away.

"Lexie!" Meredith shrieks, turning to her and giving her the once over as she opens her locker.

"You left Paige with Mark so you could go out with some other guy?" Meredith verifies, slightly dubious, and Lexie snorts.

"No."

"Lexie!" Meredith repeats, because she knows what this means.

Lexie doesn't know why her sister is so scandalised.

"It's no big deal," she mumbles, trying to avoid the sudden focus of everyone in the locker room.

"What's no big deal?" Cristina asks Meredith, suddenly interested.

"Lexie and Mark."

"Not again?" Cristina groans. "Seriously, you two are worse than Derek and Mer."

She doesn't know whether or not to be offended so she stays silent instead, and is informed by Bailey that she is on Sloan's service.

"You requested me?" she asks Mark when she sees him, and he grins.

"Yes. Yes I did."

..

Apparently her daughter calling Mark "dada" wasn't an occasional occurrence.

She thinks it might be a habit.

It's already happened five times that she knows about, and she's almost positive that it's happened when she hasn't been around.

"This is bad," she tells Mark after it happens the sixth time.

Paige has finally fallen asleep in her crib in the spare room, and Lexie turns the baby monitor on before putting the receiver in her back pocket and turning to Mark, who just shrugs.

"I don't mind," he says, and it makes her start to hyperventilate.

"It's okay, Lex," he says, confused by her reaction. "Don't worry."

When his words don't put her at ease, he speaks again, so softly she can barely make out the words.

"Is it that you don't want me to be a father to her?" He questions, and the anguish in his eyes makes her heart break.

"No," she's quick to assure him, shaking her head for emphasis, because she knows he thinks he'll never be good enough. "It's just; you're not her father, Mark. I wish you were, but you're not, and she can't grow up thinking you're her dad because if this … between us … if it ends she'll be devastated, and I won't do that to her. It's… It's different now, Mark, it's not just you and me, it's you and me and her, and I can't do this, I can't do the whole back and forth anymore."

"Lexie," he silences her with the single word, and she sighs, a pained expression on her face. "I'm in this. I'm in this for the long haul, and I don't know what else I can do to prove it to you. I love her like she's my daughter, and I don't want to hurt her either. I wouldn't be here if I wasn't sure, okay?"

She's powerless, really, because he always knows just what to say.

The kiss is insistent, and a kind of desperate that she hasn't allowed herself to initiate because they said they would take things slowly.

"I thought you said-"

She puts a finger on his lips and smiles. "I know what I said," she replies, kissing him again roughly, and she feels his resolve break the moment he gives in. His hands go to her waist, pulling her against him, and it's humiliating, how much she wants him.

She moans into the kiss, wrapping her arms around him.

"It's been a while," she murmurs, embarrassed, because it feels like pertinent knowledge.

"For me too," he admits, and she doesn't push it because she can't help it, she's surprised, and she knows he's embarrassed. He shouldn't be, not even a little bit, because she hasn't had sex since Paige was conceived, and _that_ is embarrassing.

He goes for her shirt and she stops him, because that's another thing to be self-conscious about.

"Things are different now," she says. She used to pride herself on her body but she doesn't anymore, because it really hasn't been on the top of her priorities.

"I know," he says, and she tries to distract him but fails. "Don't be like this. You're beautiful," he murmurs resolutely, slipping her shirt off and kissing her. "Beautiful," he repeats, and she blushes because she's _not_. Since the last time they did this she's gained weight in just about every possible way, and stretch marks mar her stomach and breasts.

His hands go to her ass as he lifts her, carrying her towards the bedroom. "Even if it takes all night, I'll convince you," he vows, and the mere thought sends a shiver up her spine.

..

"Lex?" He asks, as she wakes in his arms.

God, she's missed this.

"Mmmm?" She asks, smiling contentedly.

"Is it okay if she calls me dad? We never got to the end of it. Is it okay?"

She smiles at the look on his face, the unbridled hope. "If you want to be her dad, she really should call you dad, don't you think?"

His grin is so wide it splits his face in two, as he wraps his arms around her, kissing her desperately.

"I want to be her father until the day I die," he says, and tears spring to her eyes at the statement.

"She's so lucky to have you," she replies, kissing him. "We both are."

..

Paige's first birthday is a big event that they have at Mark's apartment because just the thought of fitting more than ten people in her apartment is laughable.

Mark goes overboard with everything, from gifts to decorations to food, and Meredith can't believe that her little sister managed to turn Mark Sloan, man whore, into Mark Sloan proud father.

Derek just smiles knowingly at him throughout the party.

"I'm glad you're happy," he tells his friend sincerely, and Mark beams.

"Ecstatic," he corrects.

He has everything he ever wanted.

* * *

**A/N:**

Okay, I have tried to keep the author's notes to a minimum, because really, no one reads a story for the author's notes, however, I have to say, that I have never before received such wonderful reviews and feedback for a story. You guys are really the greatest readers, and I so very much appreciate it. Now that I am officially done with exams and have a very long summer holiday ahead of me, I'm hoping to be able to update more frequently than once a week :)

Thank you all, once again.

Laylah


	7. Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX

..

They don't really talk about moving in together, but eventually most of her stuff is at his place, and bringing over the rest of it just seems like the sensible thing to do.

Paige actually gets her own room, they're close to the hospital, and Callie and Arizona are across the hall, which proves to be invaluable in emergencies.

It's perfect, really.

..

Derek and Meredith successfully adopt Zola, and Mark can't help but tease his friend about going after what he has. He's never been the one who has it all, and he likes the way it feels.

It has become a habit of his; visiting Paige whenever he has a spare moment during the day, and it isn't exactly a secret. Lexie does the same thing, he knows, because often enough they run into each other.

It's something that he is introducing Derek to, as they sit on chairs far too small for anyone over the age of three, watching Paige and Zola as they play on the carpeted floor in front of them.

"She's just like Lexie," Derek comments, his eyes on Paige, and Mark chuckles.

"Yeah she is," he agrees proudly, as Paige stands up precariously and he tries to stop himself from reaching for her. Lexie keeps complaining that he's stunting her walking ability, because he's so afraid that she's going to fall that he goes to carry her whenever she tries to walk.

"Daddy," she says clearly, walking toward him, and he beams.

"Look at you, princess," he smiles proudly, as she reaches him successfully. Slowly the "dada" has become "daddy" and Lexie has been pretending that she isn't jealous that she is still being called "mama".

He lifts Paige effortlessly onto his lap, completely oblivious to Derek, who has been watching the exchange in awe.

"Look at you," Derek says, unable to keep the shock out of his voice.

"What?" Mark demands, defensive. He's sick of everyone assuming he can't do this; that he isn't a capable father.

Lexie is the only one who has ever had faith in his ability in that aspect, and he isn't about to let her, or Paige down.

"She adores you," Derek notes. "Have you thought this through?"

"Excuse me?" Mark returns, instantly angered by the slight condescension in Derek's tone.

"I know how much you wanted this – a family, and Lexie, but … Have you two talked about it? Because this isn't like it was before. You can't walk away when things get hard."

"I never walked away," he tells Derek quietly, anger percolating through his tone despite his attempt at controlling it. "She did. She walked away and she slept with Karev."

Just the memory makes his blood boil, and the condescending sympathy in Derek's eyes doesn't do anything to ease the anger.

"You slept with Addison," Derek reminds him gently. "I'm just saying, it has to be different now, for Paige. You two have acknowledged that?"

He nods determinedly, because they _have_. Lexie has been adamant that this is it; that they're either in this or they're out, and the consensus was a very enthusiastic in.

"You've discussed what would happen if you and Lexie were to break up, if Lexie were to walk away?" Derek verifies, unconvinced.

Mark swallows thickly at the thought, because Derek has a point. They haven't discussed it, not really, and he is suddenly flooded with images of Lexie taking Paige and him never seeing either of them again.

He holds Paige a little tighter, ignoring Derek. He hates that his best friend can't just be happy for him, even if his happiness is encased in a protective bubble of ignorance. But even through the denial that he is intent on maintaining, he knows he barely survived losing Lexie the first time around – he couldn't handle losing both of them.

..

They spend two hours together before he convinces himself to simply ask her. They've eaten, Paige is asleep, and they're in the kitchen finishing up the dishes.

His conversation with Derek incited fears that are paralysing; fears that prevent him from thinking clearly, and he knows Lexie would put them to rest.

At least he hopes she would.

There's a part of him that worries that she might actually tell him that the moment he messes up, the moment they're over, she will take Paige, because really, he has no legal claim on the child.

He can't even stomach the thought, because the memory of Lexie walking away the first time still burns in his mind, but he needs to know before his insecurities eat him alive.

"What would happen if we broke up?" He asks softly, turning on his side to face her.

Her mouth drops open and her brows knit together. "Why would you even ask that? You said you were in this," she says, and he knows she was going for angry, but the words come out hurt instead, so he's quick to double back and correct her assumption.

"I am, Lexie, God, it's just… Nothing is certain, and I was all in last time too, but it didn't work, and I just need to know… Would you just walk away; take her from me?"

She blinks at him, and it happens so slowly that it takes him a minute to recognise the change in her features.

She looks betrayed, and even more hurt than before, and this time he doesn't know what to say because he doesn't understand.

"Are you…" She pauses, looking utterly heartbroken. "Do you even want me, anymore? Or is it just that you finally have the life you wanted, that you have a child? I know that you don't want to lose her, but would you even care if you lost me?"

He finally realises that for all he has said, all that he has done, the majority of it has been about proving his dedication to Paige, and less about Lexie, and with that realisation, his insecurities fade into oblivion as he tries to alleviate hers.

"Lex…" he feels guilty that she even has to ask the question; that she even has these doubts.

He is so thrown by the question that he doesn't have immediate words to reassure her, so he merely reaches for her, pulling her body against his swiftly, and kisses her.

He kisses her until there is no doubt in her mind, until she's trembling in his arms, and is leaning against him for support.

"Lexie I love Paige because she's yours, because she's just like you. It's not that I simply want to be a father; it's that I want to be her father. It's that I want to be a part of your family, okay?"

She's still breathless, and she nods slightly, leaning forward to rest her forehead against his.

"I would never take her from you," she whispers. "No matter what. I promise. And I'm not going anywhere."

The words mean more than he initially realises, coupled with the complete faith in her eyes that he isn't going to do anything to hurt her, to hurt them; that he isn't going to screw up, or give her a reason to walk away.

She smiles at him tentatively, and he grins in return momentarily before closing the gap between them and pressing his lips to hers.

"I love you."

..

He had to run to the hospital to check on a patient and left Paige in Arizona's capable hands.

Lexie was on call, as was Callie, and he was only going to be a few minutes.

When he's paged to the ER he's ready to find the idiot who paged him and let them know that he's not on call, but apparently that idiot is Arizona.

"What the hell?" He asks angrily, fear creeping into his tone, because there's only one reason why she would be paging him at the hospital when she's supposed to be babysitting his daughter, and the mere thought makes him sick to his stomach.

He's grappling for another possibility, but then he hears her crying, and he knows Paige's cries instantly.

"Where is she?" He demands, but Arizona stands her ground, not letting him move.

"You need to calm down. She's okay, it's appendicitis."

"Appendicitis? I've only been gone…"

He checks his watch, and apparently two minutes turned into three hours fairly quickly.

"What happened?" He asks instead, pulling away the curtain behind Arizona to see Paige with Meredith, who is trying unsuccessfully to soothe her.

"It's okay, baby girl," he says, running a hand across Paige's forehead.

"Did you page Lexie?" He asks, an Arizona nods.

"She hasn't responded."

"Go find her," he tells Meredith, who stands immediately.

"What the hell happened?" He asks Arizona again, who takes Meredith's seat on the other side of Paige.

"It started right after you left, she wouldn't stop crying, she had a slight fever and tenderness over McBurney's point, so I brought her in just to be safe. An ultrasound showed appendicitis, we're just waiting on an OR."

He nods, trying to calm down, because really, Arizona did everything right, and if she hadn't been the one watching Paige it's possible they wouldn't have caught it so quickly.

"Thanks. You'll do the surgery, right?"

"An intern could do it, but yes, I will be performing the surgery."

He smiles appreciatively. "Thanks."

"An OR has opened up," the on call nurse informs them, and he stands, ready to take her to pre op, but Arizona stalls.

"What? Why aren't we moving?" He asks, and Arizona stares at the ground. "Robbins?"

"We need consent," she mumbles, and he nods.

"Where are the papers?"

"We need Lexie's consent," she clarifies, and there it is.

The simple statement lands like a punch to the stomach.

"Because I'm not her father," he says tonelessly.

"You are her father, Mark, you're her father in every way that counts. You're the first one who's been able to get her to stop crying since she got here."

"But really, legally, I'm not. Where the hell is Lexie?" He mutters, angry that they have to wait over a legal technicality.

"Daddy," Paige whines, and turns his attention instead to his daughter, murmuring assurances.

"How is she?" Lexie demands, arriving a few minutes later in a flurry of activity.

"She's okay," Arizona responds immediately. "We have an OR ready, we just need your signature."

..

"Lex?"

They're waiting in silence, and he can't bare it.

"Mmmm?" Her mind is elsewhere; he knows this.

"I want to adopt her. I want a piece of paper that says she's my daughter, because if something like this happens again, I don't want to be waiting while she's in pain for it to become emergent enough that the doctor's consent is sufficient. I want to be her father."

She nods, her head bobbing up and down. "Yes. Yes. Or we could just get married," she suggests as an afterthought, her eyes reaching his as she gauges his reaction.

It's when the smile tugs at his lips that she continues.

"If Paige gets to be a Sloan I don't want to miss out."

The smile becomes a full-fledged grin, and for a moment, for a few seconds, they aren't worried parents waiting impatiently for news. She's in his arms immediately, and he's laughing because _finally_.

"Mark? Lexie?" Arizona is back, and she's grinning so wide she doesn't even need to say the words.

"Procedure went perfectly. She should be just fine."

..

Mark takes a week off to look after Paige following the surgery, which consists of quality father daughter time in which Paige gets everything she wants.

He can't say no to her.

He thinks it might be a legitimate medical condition.

Lexie calls it weakness.

He doesn't point out that the word no rarely comes out of her mouth when Paige wants something.

He isn't that stupid.

..

He's expecting her to back out of the engagement.

Or at least to say she wants to wait a few years before they get married.

It was in the heat of the moment, they were stressed, and emotional, and not in the right mindset to make life altering choices.

She doesn't.

She comes home saying she thinks she wants a fairly small ceremony, family, close friends, no meeting at city hall but far from the big white wedding.

She isn't even calling his bluff.

He doesn't think he's ever been this happy.

..

He learns quickly that her "fairly small ceremony" idea was subject to change. It becomes increasingly bigger as days pass, because she apparently knows a lot of people, and she keeps adding to the guest list.

It therefore takes much longer to plan the event than he initially foresaw, but he doesn't care, because they're getting married.

It's a month after Paige's third birthday that it actually happens.

Mrs Shepherd comes, and one of Derek's sisters, but they hardly compare to Lexie's father and sister and brother in law and niece, and of course all the aunts and uncles and cousins that go along with it.

Meredith leads Paige down the aisle followed by Molly, while he waits at the alter with Derek.

"Nervous?" Derek teases, but he doesn't even need to respond, for the look on his face says it all.

He isn't nervous, he's certain, and he's ecstatic.

..

He spends more time dancing with Paige on his feet than he does Lexie.

They have their first dance as husband and wife, and then she proceeds to dance with her father, and Derek, and the list goes on, as he caters to a very demanding mini-Lexie, who's having far too much fun to share.

"Can I cut in, miss Paige?" Meredith asks politely, and Paige nods as Derek lifts her in one arm and Zola in the other, promising food.

"Who'd have thought, us dirty mistresses, married, with daughters?" He asks with a smile and Meredith chuckles.

"Not me." She looks over at Lexie, who is dancing with Eric and smiles. "She's happy, you know. You make her happy."

He doesn't have to say that she makes him happy, because it's written all over his face.

..

**A/N: **

I apologise profusely for the long wait. This chapter was much harder to write than I anticipated – there were numerous huge edits, which are always painful. Anyway, thanks for reading, and if you feel so inclined please leave a review :)


	8. Chapter 7

CHAPTER SEVEN

..

Making it through her residency was no small feat, a miracle she owes to Mark and her photographic memory.

Mostly Mark.

She dons the dark blue scrubs for the first time proudly, marvelling the accomplishment.

"How's Seattle Grace Mercy West's newest neurosurgical fellow?" Mark asks, his voice deeper than usual, which only ever means one thing.

"How many times did you practise that tongue twister?" She inquires, intent on ignoring the suggestive look on his face.

He shrugs. "A few. You busy?"

His hands are already wandering and she chuckles.

"Yes. It's my first day," she says as she pulls away reluctantly. "I need to focus."

He looks pitiful, and she rolls her eyes. "I get off at nine," she says, her tone mirroring his, and he doesn't miss the double entendre.

"Yes you will."

..

Being a fellow isn't what she had envisioned when she started her residency.

As a naïve and hopeful intern she had assumed that she would spend her time as a fellow doing ground breaking surgeries.

Instead, she mostly performs Derek's routine procedures, while he pursues the more noteworthy cases, and she prefers it, really.

It means she gets to schedule her already decreased hours to her own preferences, and that she rarely gets called into work in the middle of the night.

It's the reason she chose Seattle Grace over other fellowships, even though Mark was more than happy to move.

It's perfect, and she wouldn't change a thing.

..

Finding out she's pregnant is far different from the first time. She knows how Mark will react. While they haven't been actively trying, they haven't exactly been diligent in preventing pregnancy.

After deciding that they'll have more kids at some point, forgetting a condom now and again doesn't seem like such a big deal.

It's a good surprise, and she knows this, which is why he can tell something's different the moment she walks through the door – she can't control herself.

"What's going on?" He asks suspiciously, and she shakes her head.

"Nothing. I just got you something really good for your birthday," she smiles, and his eyes narrow.

"So I have to wait a week, while dealing with this giddy version of you who can't wait to give it to me," he confirms, and she nods haphazardly.

"Happy birthday," she teases, and he scoffs. "Do I need to make it up to you?" She asks, stepping closer. "Because Paige is with Derek and Meredith tonight."

"You should have lead with that," he informs her, wasting no time in lifting her into his arms, her legs wrapping around his waist automatically.

..

He is pathetic.

She thinks it's an amusing change from when he used to call her that.

"I'm old," he moans, and she rolls her eyes, straddling him.

"You're not," she counters, pressing a lingering kiss to his lips.

They have this argument far too often, and she thinks he only starts it half the time to get her to assure him he's as young and virile as he likes to think he is.

"You're distinguished," she tells him. She has a rotation of adjectives that she uses so as not to repeat the exact same conversation too many times.

Of course this time, she has news that will make him drop the conversation instantaneously.

"We're having a baby," she whispers in his ear, before kissing him again, and when she pulls away, he seems frozen in shock.

"Mark?"

But then it sinks in, apparently, and he's grinning.

"You're pregnant?" He verifies, and she nods.

He kisses her desperately, unable to keep the smile off his face for longer than a moment for it to be anything other than messy.

"Wow."

"Mmm," she hums in agreement.

"When did you find out?"

"A week ago," she replies, sitting up and brushing her hair out of her face.

His hands go to her hips.

"You were right. Best present ever."

"You haven't seen what Paige got you yet," she reminds him, and the ridiculously huge smile is back.

"I don't care if I'm old; this is the best birthday ever."

..

"Lexie's pregnant!"

"Mark!"

Derek and Meredith laugh at them, as Mark avoids the glare he knows is on his wife's face.

"We said we were going to wait until after the first trimester to tell everyone."

"It's Derek and Meredith," he says, as if this explains everything.

"Congratulations," Meredith cuts in, hugging her sister, as Cristina appears behind her.

"For what?"

"Lexie's pregnant!"

"Mark!"

"Again?" Cristina queries, and Meredith elbows her in the ribs.

"What? She was just pregnant, like…"

"Paige just turned four," Lexie supplies, rolling her eyes.

"What's going on?"

It's Alex now, and Mark knows the look on Lexie's face too well, but apparently his mouth is faster than his brain.

"Lexie's pregnant."

He says it quickly, as if he could say it fast enough that she might miss it.

"I hate you," she returns, just as fast, before leaving.

"Hormones," Meredith offers as an excuse, and Mark grins. He didn't see much of hormonal Lexie the last time.

..

He finds her in the locker room, staring into her locker aimlessly.

"I'm sorry," he says, approaching her when she refuses to turn to him, merely scoffing disbelievingly.

"I'm excited, okay? I get to do this this time around, and I'm excited."

"I'm glad you're excited. I just, I wanted a little more time before the whole hospital knew."

"The whole hospital doesn't know," he denies, and she laughs.

"They do. But it's okay," she says resolutely.

He snakes his arms around her, resting them on her stomach.

"It's pretty great, actually."

"Yeah, it is."

..

While it's nice to have him so excited and protective over her, it gets old, fast.

He makes an annoying habit of monitoring her schedule, and consequently Derek or Nelson mysteriously end up performing any surgery that takes longer than six hours.

It's when Derek is paged to an emergent patient, and Nelson is off duty that she ends up in the OR for an extended period of time, and she isn't even surprised when Mark barges in and suggests she take a break.

"I'm fine," she complains. She doesn't even look up from the patient, simply waiting for him to realise he's being ridiculous and leave.

"Lexie," his tone is warning, and she rolls her eyes, stepping away from the table and following him into the scrub room. She knows he isn't going to back down, and she isn't about to fight with him in the middle of a procedure.

"You haven't eaten for six hours," he tells her, holding up a banana.

"I've been in surgery," she reminds him, incredulous. "I'll be out in less than an hour, and I'll get something to eat then."

He's already peeling the banana, an annoyingly self-righteous smirk on his lips when she concedes, taking a bite.

"You can never be too careful," he says, as she makes a show of eating as quickly as possible.

"You are the definition of too careful. I can do my job."

"I know you can. Go kick ass."

She can't help but soften at his words, and the way he kisses her quickly before she readjusts her mask.

He might be overbearing, and he might treat her like she's incapable of looking after herself, but he does it out of love, and she can deal with that.

..

He's coddling her, and he knows it.

But she's pregnant, and he's here, and yes, maybe he's overcompensating for missing it all the first time, but he's going to do everything right, this time around.

It's her day off, and he tried not to wake her when he got up, but it was futile – she's a light sleeper.

"I'll go get Paige ready for day care," he says, getting out of bed.

"What the hell?" She demands, grabbing his arm, and effectively stilling his movements.

"I'm going to get Paige ready for day care," he repeats, and she chuckles sarcastically.

"No. No. You have got to be kidding me. I'm having the day off; I'm not going to the hospital. But you are not taking Paige to day care when I can spend the day with her."

"You've had a busy week, you need to rest," he says, and she tightens her grip.

"You need to relax. I'm barely nineteen weeks. We'll be fine. I rented every Disney movie on the planet that we don't already own; we won't leave the apartment."

"Fine," he concedes, convinced. "But you need to stay off your feet."

"You're being overprotective!" She calls after him as he heads into the shower and he pokes his head out of the door.

"Only because I love you."

..

He isn't exactly thrilled to come home to an empty apartment.

Petrified, would be the precise emotion, because she said she wasn't leaving, and she's not here and neither is Paige.

He has his phone in his hand, ready to dial 911 when the door opens, and Paige bounds through in front of Lexie.

"Where've you been?" He demands, and Lexie frowns, confused.

"We ducked out to get ice cream," she explains slowly, holding the bag up.

"We got mint chocolate chip and rocky road for you, daddy," Paige informs him proudly.

"You said you weren't going to leave the apartment."

"We drove two minutes down the road to the store, what is your problem?" She asks, defensive.

He pauses to take a deep breath, because he's this close to screaming, and it wouldn't be good for anyone.

"I was worried, okay?" he presses out, and Lexie knows him, knows the look on his face, and she softens.

"I'm sorry," she kisses him gently, resting her hands on his cheeks. "I should have told you where we were going, but we were only gone twenty minutes, and I didn't think you'd be home so early."

"I missed you," he whispers, embarrassed, and she smiles.

"Did you miss me, daddy?" Paige asks, jumping up and down from her position beside them.

"I missed you the most, princess," he tells her, lifting her into his arms so she's level with Lexie.

"You want to watch The Little Mermaid with us?" Lexie offers. "We couldn't watch it without ice cream," she explains, and he laughs when he sees Paige nod emphatically in agreement.

"Absolutely."

..

They learn to compromise, slowly.

He manages to reign in his overprotectiveness, provided she makes sure she eats properly and doesn't push herself too hard at work, and she agrees to make sure she spends her days off at home.

He is there for everything, every tiny doctor's visit; he watches her take every prenatal vitamin.

She pretends to find it suffocating, but it's kind of nice.

..

They're happy, so ridiculously happy in fact; that she knows something is bound to go wrong.

It's Sunday, and they're up early because Paige wants pancakes, and refuses to eat anything else on weekends. Lexie's ginning at Mark's failed attempts to flip them, and Paige giggles blatantly.

"Mommy does it better!" she declares, and Mark looks horrified.

"You don't want my pancakes, princess?" He asks, upset, as he slaps a pancake on her plate that is burnt on one side and uncooked on the other.

"Ew," Paige laughs, and Lexie takes the pan from Mark's hands.

"I do it for a reason, Mark," she tells him playfully, and he shakes his head.

"This is what I get, trying to do something nice for my girls."

"Yep. Why don't you do get Paige dressed, and I'll fix this mess," she suggests teasingly.

"Alrighty, baby girl. What are we wearing today?"

..

If they make it to work on time it will be a small miracle.

They're in such a rush that Mark is carrying Paige, even though she "_wants to walk, Daddy"._

"Sorry, Paigey, but we're running a bit too late for that."

"'Cause you messed up the pancakes?" She asks, and Mark laughs.

"Yeah, because I messed up the pancakes," he concedes, and Lexie lets out a throaty laugh.

"So you're admitting this is your fault?"

"No," he answers quickly. "We both know why we're running late, and it has nothing to do with this morning, and a lot to do with last night."

Lexie blushes at the thought, because, okay, she's in her second trimester, and she's actually able to enjoy the benefits of being ridiculously horny this time around.

As soon as they enter the building Paige is begging to walk.

"I wanna hold mommy's hand," she pleads, and Mark puts her down, caving.

"Yay," she squeals, grabbing Lexie's hand in one and Mark's in the other as they slow the pace down out of necessity.

"Lexie!"

She doesn't recognise the voice, so it clearly isn't someone she works with, which explains why they would be wanting to talk to her when she's so clearly running late.

She looks over her shoulder to check who it is while still moving, but stops dead in her tracks when she sees him.

"Scott."

..


	9. Chapter 8

CHAPTER EIGHT

..

Warning: A few curses.

..

Mark visibly tenses beside her and the sound of the name, and she turns to him.

"Would you take her to day care please?" She asks softly, gesturing to Paige, and Mark nods.

"C'mon sweet pea," he says, encouragingly.

"Bye, mommy," Paige says sadly, and Lexie bends down to kiss the top of her head.

"Bye, baby."

Paige senses something is wrong instinctively, but Mark just picks her up, chatting away as he heads for the day care centre.

"What's her name?" Scott asks, and Lexie snorts.

"You don't deserve to know."

"Come on, Lexie," he says, reaching for her arm, but she pulls away sharply.

"What do you want, Scott?" She demands angrily. "I'm running late."

"I was here yesterday, and I saw you in the parking lot with her…" he trails off, his eyes on the floor. "I thought you had an abortion." His eyes flit to hers when he stops talking, and somehow he looks vaguely hurt, though she can't fathom why.

"Well I didn't. I tried multiple times to tell you that, but you wouldn't take my calls. I really don't understand what you're doing here now," she says, trying to keep her voice angry and demanding to make sure he doesn't hear the fear, because all she can think is that there is only one reason that he'd be here _now_, and it scares her more than anything.

"I want to know my daughter," he answers softly, and she swallows thickly, because _there it is_.

"She's not your daughter."

She manages to get the words out in the middle of what she's almost sure is a panic attack, which she would be proud of if she wasn't so petrified.

"She has a dad, a real one, one who loves her, so please, leave us alone," she continues desperately, trying to calm down and turning to leave, but he walks with her.

"I didn't even know she existed until yesterday," he tries again. "I thought you had an abortion," he repeats, and she rolls her eyes angrily.

"No, you threw some money at me and hoped I would get an abortion, before disappearing. So you do not get to barge into our lives now and fuck everything up."

She's not angry, she's livid, because she finally has everything she could ever want, and he's threatening it.

"Lexie, I just want to know her. Don't I at least have a right to know her?"

"No!" she yells, trying to ignore the way people are starting to stare at her. "You lost that right. Please, just leave us alone."

She stalks away at that, leaving him standing in the middle of the lobby, and it feels _good_.

..

She's having a quite pleasant lunch in the cafeteria alone, trying to forget the conversation that has been replaying in her head for hours, when she's interrupted.

"Heard you and Scott got into it in the lobby," Mark says, as he slides into the seat beside her.

"Urgh, how do you know?"

"Lexie Grey swearing up a storm in the middle of the hospital? That's A-grade gossip," he smiles proudly.

"My sister, the potty mouth." Meredith shakes her head as she drops her tray and sits beside them. "Who'd have known?"

"Does everyone know?" Lexie groans, and Meredith shrugs. "What did Scott have to say?" She inquires, taking the plastic lid off her salad.

"He wants to know her," Lexie spits.

"He is her father," Meredith points out, and Lexie shakes her head fiercely. "No. No he's not. He was not the one up every two hours every night when she was two months old, and he wasn't the one who stayed by her side for days when she had her appendix out. That was Mark. How would you feel, if Zola's birth parents came up to you and wanted to be a part of her life?" She demands.

"That's different," Meredith disagrees.

"No, it's not, and I'm done talking about this," she declares, standing up angrily.

She gets out of the cafeteria and halfway down the hall before he stops her.

"Lexie," he calls, and she stops, because if anyone can make her feel better…

He pulls her into an on call room, and although she knows it isn't for sex she really wishes it was.

"It's going to be okay," he tells her, his tone calm; confident.

"She's yours. She's yours in every conceivable way… He does not get to show up now and take her away."

"She's not going anywhere, okay?" he says, a hand on either side of her face as he forces her to look at him. "She's not going anywhere."

She nods reluctantly, taking a deep breath.

"Would it be the worst thing in the world for her to know her father?" He asks softly, well aware he's likely to anger her, just moments after calming her down.

"Yes!" She says, irritated. "You are her father. She has your laugh, your sense of humour… she gets that same sparkle in her eyes when she knows she's done something wrong. You are her father, and you're the best father in the world. Why would she want a downgrade?"

"Maybe it's something she needs to decide for herself. He's never going to change what we have, Lex. She'll always be my daughter, and I'll always love her, but surely she has a right to meet him, to know him?"

She doesn't want to concede yet, but she sees his point. "I'll think about it," she agrees reluctantly, and Mark smiles.

"Great. Now that we've got that sorted…" he smirks, reaching behind him and locking the door.

"Mark…" she smiles, shaking her head. "You're incorrigible."

"We have an empty on call room, Lex. We can't waste it."

"You do have a point…" she agrees, grinning wickedly.

..

He knows Scott's unexpected arrival in their lives has Lexie on edge.

Half the hospital knows, because she spent ten minutes in the most crowded area of the building yelling at him.

She isn't exactly subtle.

But he has to be, because she's stressed enough for the both of them.

Their life is perfect; he has more than he could have ever imagined possible, and he hates the idea of losing it at least as much as Lexie does, but someone has to be the voice of reason and it's already clear it's not going to be her.

Paige deserves everything, and he's known it from the moment he laid eyes on her. He has spent, and will spend his life making sure she has every opportunity she could ever want, and it therefore seems hypocritical to deprive her of knowing her father. Her real father.

Lexie is adamant that biology is irrelevant, and he agrees, mostly.

Except for the part where Paige has father who shares her DNA, who apparently wants to step up and do the right thing, even if he is four years too late.

He doesn't know how to deprive Paige of something that one day she could want.

They haven't told her about her paternity; mostly because she's too young for the conversation to do anything other than confuse her, but also because he wouldn't know what to say.

He had parents who made it clear on multiple occasions that they never really wanted a kid, and he doesn't want Paige's knowledge of Scott to break her heart the way his parents broke his.

He wants her to have everything he never had; he doesn't want her to feel the kind of disappointment he felt, and keeping the truth from her really seemed like the best option.

But now Scott's here, and the perfect little world they've fought to construct for Paige is crumbling, and if Scott is wanting to be a real father, he can't keep that from her.

..

Scott is waiting in the lobby the next day when she arrives for work, and at Mark's insistence she takes a deep breath and approaches him, trying to remain calm.

"Where is she?"

She takes small satisfaction in the fact that he still doesn't know her name.

It's petty; she can't help it.

"It's Monday, she has preschool," Lexie replies smoothly, and he nods.

"Right."

"She's four," Lexie adds, as he mulls this over. "Look. I am willing to give you a lunch. You, me, Paige and Mark. My next day off is next week, on Friday. Are you free?"

He doesn't even think about it before nodding. "Yes. I mean, I don't know, but I will be."

"Fine," she says, almost feeling guilty for being such a bitch. "You can pick the place, just text me the address."

"Okay. Thank you, Lexie," he says sincerely. "Paige is a nice name," he adds and she smiles.

"I'll see you then."

..

It's later that night, when Paige is asleep and they're getting ready for bed that they finally get a moment alone.

"We're having lunch with Scott next Friday; the three of us," Lexie tells him, and he squeezes her hand.

"I'm proud of you," he murmurs, kissing her softly. "You don't need to worry about anything. Paige is not going anywhere."

He hopes she doesn't notice that the words are partly spoken to reassure himself.

She doesn't seem to, but he is unable to decipher the look on her face, which is such a rare occurrence that it has him worried.

"Are you still angry at him?" He inquires, confused.

"Not really," she exhales softly before continuing. "Because if he'd done the right thing, we might not be here. I'm just… I'm afraid," she smiles meekly, embarrassed.

"Me too," he whispers honestly, and she looks up at him quickly, surprised.

"But we don't need to be. We're not going to lose her. We'll just go to lunch and go from there, okay?"

She nods haphazardly, and he pulls her into a hug.

"It's going to be fine."

..

Lunch is doomed from the start.

Mark knows this, and it's only confirmed when Paige emerges from her room and says she doesn't want to go to lunch, she wants to go to the zoo, because she knows that any rare day that both her parents are at home is spent doing something fun.

"We'll go to the zoo after, princess," he promises and she beams.

"And we can see the giraffes?"

"We can spend the whole afternoon with the giraffes," he smiles.

God, the feeling he gets when he sees her grin, such completely and pure happiness in her eyes, is the best feeling in the world.

When they get to the restaurant Scott's chosen, a bistro that is so not appealing to a four year old, he almost laughs.

Rookie.

No playground, no kids menu – big mistake.

Scott agreed not to tell Paige that he's her father, so as to not confuse her, so she doesn't even understand why she has to come.

It has disaster written all over it.

..

When Paige taps on her shoulder and moves to whisper in her ear Lexie knows what's coming.

"Excuse us, we'll be right back," she says, taking Paige's hand and shooting Mark an awkward glance over her shoulder as she searches for the bathrooms.

"Can we go to the zoo yet, mommy?" Paige asks, and Lexie smiles.

Her determination and stubbornness is a trait her daughter picked up from Mark, she's sure.

"Not yet, sweetie. Soon."

"Why are we having lunch with Scott?" She asks, dragging Scott's name out.

"He's a friend of ours, Paigey. It's not much longer, I promise."

"But daddy doesn't even like him, he has his angry face!"

"His angry face?" Lexie confirms, watching as her daughter frowns and pouts adorably in imitation.

"Yeah. Like he gives Uncle Alex when he talks to you."

..

"She's something," Scott says, as he watches Mark and Paige walk towards the car together.

"She's perfect," Lexie replies defensively. "Have you got what you wanted yet, Scott? Can you leave us alone now?"

"She's more like him than she is me," he notes, seemingly hurt by the realisation, and Lexie sighs.

"He's been there, Scott. He's been the prominent male in her life since she was born, and she looks up to him. She emulates him."

"Can I… Can I see her again, in a little while?"

"You can't just call every so often because you feel guilty for not being a father. She's a child. She needs stability. She can't have this man dropping in and out of her life to make himself feel better for abandoning her. So you either step up and be her father, or you leave and don't come back."

She lets her words sink in and when she sees that they have, she grabs her purse and slings it over her shoulder. "You have my number if you chose option one."

She's three steps away when he grabs her elbow.

"Will you send me an email, every so often, tell me how she is?" He asks softly. "I get that you're her parents, and that I missed out on that, and I don't think I can do it, be a father… So would you just tell me how she's doing?"

"Yeah. Absolutely."

"Thanks, Lexie."

"Sure."

She doesn't even feel guilty for being relieved.

..

They stand in front of the giraffes for hours.

When they hit the twenty minute mark Lexie's sitting, watching as Mark circles the exhibit with Paige, almost as excited as she is.

"You don't want to go see any other animals?" She verifies, and Paige looks horrified by the mere suggestion.

"No! Look, mommy!" She points to one of the giraffes, who is now moving, and she follows it from across the glass.

"Mark!" Lexie calls, grabbing her stomach.

He's at her side immediately, petrified that something's wrong, that all the stress of the last few weeks has affected the baby.

But instead she wordlessly takes his hand and places it over her stomach, and he feels it.

"Wow."

Lexie shares his smile, which is interrupted by Paige.

"What? What?" She asks, overly excited, and unhappy that she's being ignored.

"Your baby sister's kicking, princess," he tells her, taking her small hand and placing it on Lexie's abdomen.

"She likes giraffes too!" Paige declares happily, and Mark grins as Lexie prepares to contend with her statement.

"It's going to be a boy," Lexie tells her daughter, who shakes her head with determination.

"It's a girl. A girl. I'm gunna have a sister."

"It's a girl," Mark agrees, and Lexie shakes her head.

"You'll see."

..

She wants to have a son, desperately.

She wants to have a little Mark, a boy with his eyes and his wicked smirk, who'll probably drive her to an early grave out of pure stress, but she wants a son who she looks at and sees Mark.

She loves Paige, more than anything, and she knows she'll love any other daughters she has just as much.

But she wants to have Mark's son.

..

"I want to find out the sex," she tells Mark, who frowns.

"We said we were going to wait, let it be a surprise," he says, confused at her sudden change of heart.

"Well I changed my mind. I want to know. Besides, if we want to make it a surprise we won't even be able to look at him because I can tell the sex from an ultrasound," she points out and he knows she's right, but he's still concerned.

"Should I be worried that you have your heart set on a boy?" He queries, and she shakes her head.

"No. It's not that I don't want a girl, I just know it's a boy."

"You want it to be a boy," he amends, because he knows the whole guess-the-sex thing has got out of hand, to the point where she refuses to admit there's a fifty-fifty chance of a girl.

"I want to give you a son, is there something wrong with that?" she asks, defensive.

"No, but it shouldn't be so important to you, and if it is and we have a girl, I don't want to think about what's going to happen, Lex. You can't get so attached to having a boy."

"I just…" her face crumples and she starts to cry, cursing hormones for getting the best of her. "I want you to be able to see yourself in this baby. I want to have a boy just like you, so you can see him and know that you're his dad. I know you love Paige, and you'll love her just as much as any baby we have together, but I want to give you a child who's so completely you." She's sobbing now, and he cradles her against his body, stroking her hair.

"Lexie…" he sighs, kissing the top of her head. "Every child we have is going to look like me, boy or girl. The Sloan genes are strong; good luck trying to have a kid that looks like you ever again."

She laughs through her sobs, and his heart feels so much lighter at the sound.

"I love Paige because she's just like you, and I see you in her every day. But I also see me, when she talks back; when won't back down until you give her what she wants…" he chuckles. "You don't need to worry."

"Can we find out the sex anyway?" She asks, pleadingly. "I want to see him, or her, and see that everything's okay."

He smiles. "Maybe Paige gets that not backing down thing from you."

* * *

A/N:

Thanks for reading :)


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